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When I graduated from The
University of Georgia, I got a great job in downtown Atlanta. I was
happy-really happy. I knew a lot of people in the area and was
beginning to enjoy my newfound freedom, complete with a steady
paycheck.
I have always been the type of person who does the right thing. For
instance, I went to UGA, kept the HOPE Scholarship all four years,
worked part-time and even volunteered at Safe Campuses Now. I was
never in trouble and always careful and aware, remembering
everything that I learned at SCN. I knew the stats: one out of eight
women will be raped while in college. I read the articles about date
rape. I know what could happen.
But I knew that this stuff would never happen to me. I was too
careful and I was too smart. But, I soon found out that these things
can happen and they happened to me.
I met a girl in my office, Sarah, who was close to my age and new to
the city. We started hanging out and I introduced her to several of
my friends. One day, she asked me to go to Lenox Square Mall and
grab some dinner after work. I agreed.
After a few hours of shopping, we sat down at a fairly nice
restaurant in the mall. I ordered a glass of wine and Sarah had a
green-apple martini. Throughout the meal, I noticed that she wasn't
drinking very much of her martini. I shrugged it off and figured she
wasn't much in the mood. I, however, ordered another glass of wine,
which would make two glasses in three hours. Normally, this would
have little effect on me, but this night it did. I don't remember
leaving the restaurant.
The next thing I knew, I was face down on a hotel bed, nude and
alone. The room was in total disarray. I had no idea where I was.
The last thing I remembered was being at the restaurant. I slowly
got off the bed and started to look for my clothes. It was like a
dream. I felt like I was under water. I found most of my clothes in
a pile by the door. I looked for my purse to find my cell phone, but
whom would I call? My parents would be furious and I couldn't tell
my new boss what happened. I didn't even know what happened. But, I
had to call someone. Then, it all started to sink in and my head
became clear. It did happen to me.
I found my purse in the bathroom, reached for my cell phone and
called my mom.
She had called my office that morning looking for me. In fact,
everyone at the office was looking for me. My mom asked me where I
was, and all I could say was, "Mom, I don't know."
I screamed into the phone and started to cry. It was all becoming
clear. I had become a statistic over night and my life would never
be the same.
My mom did her best to calm me down and coached me through this
horrible situation. After I discovered that the telephone in the
room had been disconnected, I ran down the hall knocking on every
door I passed. One woman heard me and opened her door. She gave me
the hotel address and I repeated to my mom. She immediately hung up
with me and called the police. At this point, I sat down in hallway
and cried. I wanted desperately for all of this to be a dream, but
it wasn't.
Soon, the police arrived and I was taken into another room for a
physical evaluation. I had bumps and bruises on my neck and my back.
I was then taken to the Woman's Clinic at Grady Hospital for a
complete rape physical. My parents were extremely supportive through
all of this. They kept telling me that it wasn't my fault and that I
did nothing wrong. They were right. I didn't do anything wrong. I
was a mere victim of a horrible crime.
Later, it was determined that I had been drugged and Sarah knew
where I was the whole time. In fact, she took me to the hotel and
left me with two men that we had apparently met at another
restaurant; I didn't remember. Sarah assumed that I would be safe
and that I just needed to sleep it off. Sarah was wrong.
I share my story because I want people to know that this kind of
thing does happen and it is happening to people like you and me.
Although I wanted to tell my story to help others, I am finding that
sharing my story helps me more than I ever thought it would.
If rape happens to you or someone you know, please remember that
there is help available. But you have to ask for it. It would have
been so easy for me to quietly get dressed, find my car and go home
as if nothing had ever happened. The scary thing is that I thought
of doing just that. Telling my mon, calling the police, facing what
happened to me was the most difficult thing I have ever done. I am
seeing a therapist to deal with the anxiety and fear that come along
with being victimized. Everyday I get stronger. And I have people I
trust who are there to help me when I need a shoulder to lean on.
Today, I am learning how to live life as a rape survivor knowing I
did nothing wrong. I might have been a victim, but I am also a
survivor.
This article was published on the 2004 spring issue of The
Informer and March 2004 issue of For Safety's Sake
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